...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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