dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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