I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
