My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize