Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
