Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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