Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize