You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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