she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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