thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
