C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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