I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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