I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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