A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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