Whod you bang
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
