We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
