Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
