whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
