Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
only you would photoshop your dick
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
