why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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