A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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