My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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