I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
