i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
