Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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