like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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