I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
false alarm, still single
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