you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize