My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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