I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
