i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
