i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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