Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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