I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.