You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.