It's Friday. Sex?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.