So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess