i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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