Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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