I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
