? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
