i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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