Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize