After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
