Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize