I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
