I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
