My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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