It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
