is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
