I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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