Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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