ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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