I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
