Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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