new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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