Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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