I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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