How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
