So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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