Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
