Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A bitchslap is in order.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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