Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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