He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
