If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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