were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
