Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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