What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
