No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You made out with two different species that night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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