I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
