If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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